Tag: reality

SELF PLEASURE …

I love myself more than anyone else, I think I am always right, I feel I don’t commit mistakes, I am above all. That’s my self obsession, ME ME ME. Was asked if it’s same as self centered? Hmmm after thinking a lot I answered that it was not being self centered. Why? Well even though I was supreme, I somehow cared for others more than me. I know I am talking about a flaw in me, something which I never spoke openly before, something which is irritatingly wrong. Was thinking once and a question came in my mind, isn’t self obsession like enjoying Masturbation more than Sex. Whoa couldn’t really give an answer to myself. I always tried to prove the wrong right just because I couldn’t be wrong. I would want things my way for the reason that my way was the right way even if it was wrong. I then realised that somehow I have got good in convincing people over the time and always succeeded in convincing the one who was right to do my wrong.

I never really met the one who would not get convinced by me, who would stand by his or her obsession. I was getting good in being right always, but then I was getting worse within as I was losing myself in this ordeal. But the ME in ME was so strong that it was difficult to be wrong. But I still had some good in me left somewhere, the little Mr. Good in me, who made me realise the mistakes I commit due to my obsession, and who made me accept my errors. So I would always accept it if I was wrong and would somehow sometime try to realise my mistakes, punish myself, though I would be a little extra liberal in the punishments.

So why am I writing about this, trying to bare the hidden faults of me, making myself vulnerable and porous. Because I realised that all this was making me the Villain in the movie of my life. That small hero in me wanted to execute me, to be brutal with me. Though the tussle between the good and bad in me gave me a kind of sadistic pleasure, as the tryst between the good and bad was often, after all good is always attracted to the bad, I wanted it to end. Why can’t I be good and good, hmm I think we need some badness in us to balance and realise the worth of the good, so there has to be some bad in us, but only some, the good should always be more than the bad. So here I am, trying to change myself, to make my good stronger and be able to make the good and bad in me friends. I have been changing now for a while, I accept more NO’s than YES, I don’t turn my back when I am rejected, I don’t make a sad face when my shot doesn’t hit the target. But why am I writing? As I thought that I can’t succeed alone, after all you all have been my partner in crime, so I need you to get me better. I want my I to change to You. So stop getting conned by me and start telling me my wrongs. Ah yes don’t do it in one go, would kill me, be a little generous on me, after all I am not that bad 🙂 As promised I am barking myself out. WOOF WOOF !!

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REALITY VIRTUAL !!

The world in our generation has moved from reality to virtuality, virtual is now more real than the real. The virtual world is more powerful than the real. Though we are alive in the real world we are living a virtual life. The first thing I do today when I wake up is to check my emails, my social networking space, twitter and blog. Everything else comes next. We cry, we smile, we get angry and fight in real for something that happens virtually. Today we want our online profiles to look more beautiful than our homes, afterall we technically live there than in reality. A friend of mine met me a few months back with an idea to make virtual something we do in real. He wanted to provide a platform for the netizens (yes being a lawyer we extensively studied about citizenship, but netizenship is a concept yet to be legally ratified) to protest. I told him that this is already happening. We protest by showing our displeasure on our blogs, social networking sites and the likes of twitter. We all do it, even though it is mostly not heard. He then asked me if I am angry over some issue and would want to break glasses or maybe set a bus on fire, can we do it virtually. Well honestly I wouldnt do it even in real, So his idea was to let us protest and show our anger by doing things we are not able to do even in reality. A place where protest petitions be signed, show our displeasure by quietly lighting a candle or make noise by breaking glasses. And the idea was to get heard by those who needed to change, those who had committed the wrong. I thought if this was practical, if it made sense. It somehow did, but I told him that it might not be totally viable. The same guy called me 2 days back and asked me to check http://www.indiaprotest.org, i checked the website and was amazed that he had brought his thoughts and ideas into life. The website was interactive and I could register my protest in ways I could not do in reality. Though it was a little far fetched but it gave that satisfaction of releasing the anger. Great innovative website, it surely can bring a change to the way we protest and can make a dent on those who think themselves to be immortals. The way we are moving out of reality towards the virtuality, its not too far when we would all have the split personality disorder. We are two different people online and offline, trying not to mix the two. The mixing of the two would definitely bring around a fatal change. It would get difficult to live both and eventually choose one. Thats why I think a balance of both is needed. The moment one takes over the other, the disastrous would begin. So live virtually without disturbing the reality, coz virtual is all because of the real. Signing out..Woof Woof !!!